Flutter by the waters. Still and stagnant. Cool and dry. Wet and blurred. Bustling faster again to the air tight velocity of my burning passions.
Cab driver says to me that I have beautiful eyes of jade. But furious. I stand alone in this waking moment of beauty.
As I lightly cling to you I can't help but wonder that it's the wrong thing to do. But I can't help myself. You are my feast of burden.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Feeling it
Feeling it penetrate beneath my open wound I turn to stare directly into your soul. You wince a little until you realize that I am not going to escape your mind anymore. This that you feel is something that you can't deny. There is no hiding it; it's ok to brush aside your mind for a while. Come with me to the other side so that I might show you how much you miss this burden.
Know that I am with you on this journey, know that I am here to be at your side for this moment, know that I am real enough to touch -- go on...touch my arm, you will see that I am really here, next to you.
Pessimistic I see you weave in and out of happiness, knowing that you subtly sold what you believe in. You cry for complete attention but yet you control what you want - - But I must be honest with you...I allow the control you give. Slightly it gives me piece of mind; security.
I wait for you a top the railings, you remind me that you can't be here tonight...I playfully explain my frustrations and you give me the world.
Thank you for your company.
Know that I am with you on this journey, know that I am here to be at your side for this moment, know that I am real enough to touch -- go on...touch my arm, you will see that I am really here, next to you.
Pessimistic I see you weave in and out of happiness, knowing that you subtly sold what you believe in. You cry for complete attention but yet you control what you want - - But I must be honest with you...I allow the control you give. Slightly it gives me piece of mind; security.
I wait for you a top the railings, you remind me that you can't be here tonight...I playfully explain my frustrations and you give me the world.
Thank you for your company.
Let me bare myself
Let me bare myself to you so that you can see who I am.
Let me embrace the shallow part of you that slowly creeps away.
Hold me tonight and just be there for me in sight.
Empty the glass which holds my tears.
Listen to my thoughts as we wave goodbye to today.
Paint my heart with your insecure thoughts.
And I'll watch you grow a little more sincere.
Show me to you vacant heart and I will fill it whole.
Let your pain be a fading memory.
We can watch it float by together while we sip our cups dry.
Hold me today so that I know where I stand in you.
Don't hold back because of unrealistic judgments.
Let me embrace the shallow part of you that slowly creeps away.
Hold me tonight and just be there for me in sight.
Empty the glass which holds my tears.
Listen to my thoughts as we wave goodbye to today.
Paint my heart with your insecure thoughts.
And I'll watch you grow a little more sincere.
Show me to you vacant heart and I will fill it whole.
Let your pain be a fading memory.
We can watch it float by together while we sip our cups dry.
Hold me today so that I know where I stand in you.
Don't hold back because of unrealistic judgments.
Another good one
“A Prayer” by Max Ehrmann
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despairovercome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted mein the desolation of other times. May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking overthe silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quietriver, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early Godto have courage amid the tempests of the changing years. Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguardedmoments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions besuch as shall keep me friendly with myself. Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of thestars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in mypath. Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep everburning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope. And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not withinsight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful forlife, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; andmay the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despairovercome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted mein the desolation of other times. May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking overthe silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quietriver, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early Godto have courage amid the tempests of the changing years. Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguardedmoments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions besuch as shall keep me friendly with myself. Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of thestars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in mypath. Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep everburning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope. And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not withinsight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful forlife, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; andmay the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
Monday, April 27, 2009
London beneath My Heart
Centering the energy that infused me beneath the grasp of your heart. Like a Phantom I escape with out a scratch. You have caught my eye once before and you thought that I would just disappear. Now that you have realized that I am more important than you wanted me to be; I will wait for your movement.
Beneath your heart I rest silently. There are slight movements across my flesh; I breathe you into me and you collapse beside me with your arms around me. I wonder what you think about. You have shown that memory I have of you. You have been kind and there, frequent and cruel. I shutter at the loss of this mourning.
Kiss me again before I must leave.
Beneath your heart I rest silently. There are slight movements across my flesh; I breathe you into me and you collapse beside me with your arms around me. I wonder what you think about. You have shown that memory I have of you. You have been kind and there, frequent and cruel. I shutter at the loss of this mourning.
Kiss me again before I must leave.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Faulty Me
The wake fullness that I dread is sewing it's way through my tangled soul. Spreading like the virus that has been deemed complicating lust. The complicating words that spill out of your mouth that may concern so many have me in love with my beautiful wonderful self. Understanding that what I entrust to myself is worth the frustrations I live with today. That day that you pierced me with your unforgiving tone I had a realization that I have gone many more days later into the reality of this existence than you. You complicate yourself with pointless rhythmic conversation like you need it to be alive. Maybe that is your fire...But you have failed to come clean all the way. No matter how many times you wipe away your day it is always going to be there at the back of your mind.
Desiderata -- My ultimate fave
The poem that you are about to read is what I consider to be Holy to me...I personally don't believe in one specific thing to believe in, worship, however.....If I could sum it up I'd have to agree with this guy......
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Good to know
Pale on the outside...crescent shaped by the gravity that pulls at me.
Following the path that doesn't fit...or does it.
Trying to comply with the rules of intuition....but seeming to fail miserably at it by choice.
Bad ideas never cease to amaze me. Crumbling at your mouth. Gripping the tide to conform the rhythm between us. You have failed me once more. What do you have to say to me this time? Some kind of nice bullshit to falsely ease the temples of my head. You think that you bathe in the light of reason...Sorry to be the next to tell you something that you've already heard before....suck it up because in the end you are the fool to me.
This is what I will prove to you by the end of all this.
Following the path that doesn't fit...or does it.
Trying to comply with the rules of intuition....but seeming to fail miserably at it by choice.
Bad ideas never cease to amaze me. Crumbling at your mouth. Gripping the tide to conform the rhythm between us. You have failed me once more. What do you have to say to me this time? Some kind of nice bullshit to falsely ease the temples of my head. You think that you bathe in the light of reason...Sorry to be the next to tell you something that you've already heard before....suck it up because in the end you are the fool to me.
This is what I will prove to you by the end of all this.
Slipping....
No sympathy for those who choose not to grow....I had to state the fact that I think that you're a pussy for stunting your self righteous experience. Be that baby you can't stand. I'll watch from above in my self righteous space.
Now I must ask myself.....How do I think that I am a better person? Well....I can't answer that without EGO. At this moment I don't want to be nice. I want to allow them to see how I can be strong with out even an ounce of doubt.
Today I win and you lose.
Now I must ask myself.....How do I think that I am a better person? Well....I can't answer that without EGO. At this moment I don't want to be nice. I want to allow them to see how I can be strong with out even an ounce of doubt.
Today I win and you lose.
Finding Peace today
Frustrations of another that bring to mind a side of compassion for a moment. Careless I stand with a fight in me. I will not allow you to control the anger slipping from me. I sit and hide beneath the candle lit doorway. You plead to make it right but I know your stupid game. Don't think for one second that I don't get it. Like a silk screen you can not hide the real lingering desire for hope. Fuck you and your fucking fucked up ideals.....fuck you for standing in my way...fuck you for denying the truth....fuck you for lying.....fuck you for trying to make me beg for more!
I sit and smile now.....Peacful and thankful.
I sit and smile now.....Peacful and thankful.
I am there...
Corrosion helping the decay of this moment. Dirty to the point of understating. The ritual of manifestation. Blending the insanity gap by throwing out the ring. Sucking the life out of this thought. Befriending the dull moments of joy. Caressing the breath of another. Sucking in the dry air. Gasping for more water so that I might be quenched again.
I'm feeling refreshed again. I am there.
I'm feeling refreshed again. I am there.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Delivering the patience
Wed. Jan. 28, 2009
Walking down this hallway....running my hands against the walls. Waiting for the answer that should just be so simple. I suppose if I think about it...it's not that simple - except if it were not what I want to know.
Patience is what I am working towards. Patience is what I am seeking out. Patience is my new knowledge. Patience is what I must adore. Appreciate the silence in patience. Understand patience. Trust patience.
Part of me just wants to burst outwards towards the Sun - The Universe. I scream in silence - nobody can hear what I am screaming about. Like trapping myself in a glass house - sealed temporarily. Being watched like a mime. Everyone trying to figure out what it is that I am trying to portray.
Loaded like a gun - Ready to shoot off - Anything & everything. I have so much to give - I am ready to give everything.
Walking down this hallway....running my hands against the walls. Waiting for the answer that should just be so simple. I suppose if I think about it...it's not that simple - except if it were not what I want to know.
Patience is what I am working towards. Patience is what I am seeking out. Patience is my new knowledge. Patience is what I must adore. Appreciate the silence in patience. Understand patience. Trust patience.
Part of me just wants to burst outwards towards the Sun - The Universe. I scream in silence - nobody can hear what I am screaming about. Like trapping myself in a glass house - sealed temporarily. Being watched like a mime. Everyone trying to figure out what it is that I am trying to portray.
Loaded like a gun - Ready to shoot off - Anything & everything. I have so much to give - I am ready to give everything.
Unjustified beings
The fundamentals of being rotten to the core. The sweat beading off the brow. The familiar sound of the heart beating inside the other person. Defending myself just enough to make myself clear. Brushing away a faint glimmer of satisfaction. Being portrayed to such a degree that she has become quiet inside. This was just another beginning to an end for them both. He new he deserved the behavior that had been thrown at him. He accepted the failure to become better to her. He made his way back into her necessary womb.
That was just one of the nights in purgatory.
That was just one of the nights in purgatory.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tranquil in slumber
Smiles of you flutter past my soul.
Remembering thoughts of yesterday.
Subtle thoughtfulness - breaking the ice between two people.
Must I be so incomplete?
What was it that they say?...You can only complete yourself...
I do believe in the possibilities of a soul mate.
The illusion of this brings comfort to my ear.
Tenderly you stroke my hair without a thought.
You tell me all that you can fit into a single night.
I have fallen asleep with my face pressed against your chest...listening to your heart beating...tapping the small of your back; keeping up with the rhythm of your heart.
Keep talking to me...please.
Remembering thoughts of yesterday.
Subtle thoughtfulness - breaking the ice between two people.
Must I be so incomplete?
What was it that they say?...You can only complete yourself...
I do believe in the possibilities of a soul mate.
The illusion of this brings comfort to my ear.
Tenderly you stroke my hair without a thought.
You tell me all that you can fit into a single night.
I have fallen asleep with my face pressed against your chest...listening to your heart beating...tapping the small of your back; keeping up with the rhythm of your heart.
Keep talking to me...please.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Learning to live...
Breaking and mending...
Coming together and falling apart...
Decoding and coding...
Faster then slower...
Picking up the pieces then putting them down again...
Freaking out and then calm again...
Stopping and standing then running faster than ever...
Understanding completely and still being completely confused...
Spinning then stopping just to see this pass me by over and over and over again...
Wanting to know all the answers but still wanting to be so naive...
Sound familiar?
Always wondering what it is that I really want - Not understanding what clarity there might already be.
Sun dance and sun break...breaking away from what is lingering...Pardon the distance...free your spirit...smile at me...and kiss me good---night. Brush away sleepless dreams and follow me into the woods...It is there where we will play forever.
Coming together and falling apart...
Decoding and coding...
Faster then slower...
Picking up the pieces then putting them down again...
Freaking out and then calm again...
Stopping and standing then running faster than ever...
Understanding completely and still being completely confused...
Spinning then stopping just to see this pass me by over and over and over again...
Wanting to know all the answers but still wanting to be so naive...
Sound familiar?
Always wondering what it is that I really want - Not understanding what clarity there might already be.
Sun dance and sun break...breaking away from what is lingering...Pardon the distance...free your spirit...smile at me...and kiss me good---night. Brush away sleepless dreams and follow me into the woods...It is there where we will play forever.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Fade away
Poisoned and thoughtless - you break the change in me.
Freezing and thawing to control the urge to breathe.
Passion is slipping away from your grasp.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
I take the lesson learned so that I can understand what I might be feeling - right now.
Distance has become my friend to me my friend.
Bleeding on the inside so that nobody knows.
Distracted by the weather to ease my mind.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Piercing me with your cold eyes - you'd rather be left alone.
Piercing me with your maddened stick.
Facing this so left alone...alone.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Delivering my cold embellished love.
Considering all my faults and brushing away your hidden agendas.
Silencing forever the trust that I might of had.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Gone forever...gone forever...gone away from me.
Freezing and thawing to control the urge to breathe.
Passion is slipping away from your grasp.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
I take the lesson learned so that I can understand what I might be feeling - right now.
Distance has become my friend to me my friend.
Bleeding on the inside so that nobody knows.
Distracted by the weather to ease my mind.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Piercing me with your cold eyes - you'd rather be left alone.
Piercing me with your maddened stick.
Facing this so left alone...alone.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Delivering my cold embellished love.
Considering all my faults and brushing away your hidden agendas.
Silencing forever the trust that I might of had.
fade away...fade away...fade away from me my friend...just fade.
Gone forever...gone forever...gone away from me.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Listening to my Inner being
Whisper to me softly so that I might hear you. Appreciating me the way I appreciate you. I'm not seeing what I want. I must pace myself closely so that I might reconcile the contradictions within myself. Fundamental pieces that all must fit 99.99% of the time. I know that this is not a mistake. I understand completely how full the bag is. Everyday I am aware. Don't lose grip to what you hold dear to your truth.
I want to sing. I want to bang my head to very loud music.
I want to sing. I want to bang my head to very loud music.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Baseline to a Memory
Creepin' lightly over to punish the wet seams of your pants. Afraid of what you're capable of. I lie there awake quickly while you climb into bed.....I catch my breath and ask you what you're doing...."coming to bed - why?" "I didn't know what you were doing."
Lost plenty of sleep in these days while over there. Still losing sleep over here. Afraid of what I might be saying while I sleep next to a fading memory. Amazed that I haven't spent that dollar yet. Unusually free by doing what is not always right. It contains the fluid that moistens the bridge to between you and me. I try to remember why I jumped so high....to catch something I'm sure that I saw. I suppose that I could be wrong though. I never said that I was always right. That wouldn't be very human of me.
Surely there has to be a reason for all of this discomfort. I find it annoying to breathe sometimes - lately anyways. I have discovered parts of me that I never knew existed in me. It's good to see that I am not old and dusty. Great to see that I can still grow.
Frustration for the time that it will take to de-burden myself of foolish thoughts. I must make an agreement with myself to attain a certain level of awareness that doesn't allow anything to cover it up or create an illusion. THE ILLUSION.....the illusion that scares me. The one that follows me everywhere I've been going lately. Must be honest - Sorrow is hard to swallow. And yet I crave the moment that I experience in.
Lost plenty of sleep in these days while over there. Still losing sleep over here. Afraid of what I might be saying while I sleep next to a fading memory. Amazed that I haven't spent that dollar yet. Unusually free by doing what is not always right. It contains the fluid that moistens the bridge to between you and me. I try to remember why I jumped so high....to catch something I'm sure that I saw. I suppose that I could be wrong though. I never said that I was always right. That wouldn't be very human of me.
Surely there has to be a reason for all of this discomfort. I find it annoying to breathe sometimes - lately anyways. I have discovered parts of me that I never knew existed in me. It's good to see that I am not old and dusty. Great to see that I can still grow.
Frustration for the time that it will take to de-burden myself of foolish thoughts. I must make an agreement with myself to attain a certain level of awareness that doesn't allow anything to cover it up or create an illusion. THE ILLUSION.....the illusion that scares me. The one that follows me everywhere I've been going lately. Must be honest - Sorrow is hard to swallow. And yet I crave the moment that I experience in.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Love is not Blind
Breaking the force that has been holding me in this corner. Love has forever corrupted so many souls. Blinding them from seeing the true beauty of surrendering ones own heart. There is a lesson to be learned from a breaking heart. If you are strong enough you will be able to see that it doesn't matter how many times your heart has been broken you will heal and have a greater understanding to what it means to truly love.
I believe that you must love at least several times in a lifetime to be able to completely cherish your true work in love. There is a course that we all embark on that which you must follow to earn your hearts desire. You should never stop at one place and regret and sit in turmoil. As humans we are constantly learning and growing and in love we must learn and grow from too. I know that it is hard - harder than we would like to deal with at times. However, there is always a lesson, knowledge to gain, courage to move forward. If you don't then you will stay in your own purgatory.
I believe that you must love at least several times in a lifetime to be able to completely cherish your true work in love. There is a course that we all embark on that which you must follow to earn your hearts desire. You should never stop at one place and regret and sit in turmoil. As humans we are constantly learning and growing and in love we must learn and grow from too. I know that it is hard - harder than we would like to deal with at times. However, there is always a lesson, knowledge to gain, courage to move forward. If you don't then you will stay in your own purgatory.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Pressing Time
Pressing my time against the hour glass. Punishing thoughts that decay the youths abundance. Listening to the crying winds around me; hearing them scream out to me in distress. I hide beneath the stars and wait for a minute. Leading myself to you blindly. I follow you down the path of ripe pleasures. Frequently looking behind me, waiting to see the aura of sight. Slipping away from all surreal bindings that have given false pleasures to loves past. Sucking up the fumes that keep my fire burning; I am precious in your heart.
Thrusting towards the emptiness of blackened passageways. Waiting for a glimpse of light to lead me back to the moment of indestruction. Riding the waves until I reach the edge of the waters. Seeing past the most unfulfilled times that I thought would be fulfilling. Trying to persuade time to follow me to where I want it to follow. Laughing as it foolishly does what I want it to do. Using my finger to coax it gently to my next destination of passion and play.
Thrusting towards the emptiness of blackened passageways. Waiting for a glimpse of light to lead me back to the moment of indestruction. Riding the waves until I reach the edge of the waters. Seeing past the most unfulfilled times that I thought would be fulfilling. Trying to persuade time to follow me to where I want it to follow. Laughing as it foolishly does what I want it to do. Using my finger to coax it gently to my next destination of passion and play.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Dissipating
For most a memory is always fading...fading into the distant realm of security. My art is in this. If you can comprehend what this recolection is you will be able to see inside my soul. Seeing is NOT always believing...Believing in what you feed on is sometimes what it takes to see.
Friendly curses are pleasant when you bleed into me. Setting fire to my wild fire. I breathe deeply, taking this all in. Into what I need to become to become whole with the purity of freeing myself. How interesting you may admire the wealth of thought.
I amaze the process of overcoming self centered in you. Penetrating the sound waves; waves of time within your soul. Blessing the moment of truth with your dirty mouth.
Feeding all the elements of curiosity for the temporary feeling of lust. Busy to notice the novice penetration of your happy ending.
Friendly curses are pleasant when you bleed into me. Setting fire to my wild fire. I breathe deeply, taking this all in. Into what I need to become to become whole with the purity of freeing myself. How interesting you may admire the wealth of thought.
I amaze the process of overcoming self centered in you. Penetrating the sound waves; waves of time within your soul. Blessing the moment of truth with your dirty mouth.
Feeding all the elements of curiosity for the temporary feeling of lust. Busy to notice the novice penetration of your happy ending.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Thrust
The overwhelming rush of sensation has been miscarried. Rushing out of me as quickly as it flew through me. Happy about this discovery; still watching for a tidal wave of energy to penetrate my skin. Feeling drought and discomfort; I am parched. You sold my couriosity to the wind where I became dust. The maddness I crave is no longer lingering on the tip of my finger. The reality of this has become my sanity; brushed between the idea of it all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
