Feeling it penetrate beneath my open wound I turn to stare directly into your soul. You wince a little until you realize that I am not going to escape your mind anymore. This that you feel is something that you can't deny. There is no hiding it; it's ok to brush aside your mind for a while. Come with me to the other side so that I might show you how much you miss this burden.
Know that I am with you on this journey, know that I am here to be at your side for this moment, know that I am real enough to touch -- go on...touch my arm, you will see that I am really here, next to you.
Pessimistic I see you weave in and out of happiness, knowing that you subtly sold what you believe in. You cry for complete attention but yet you control what you want - - But I must be honest with you...I allow the control you give. Slightly it gives me piece of mind; security.
I wait for you a top the railings, you remind me that you can't be here tonight...I playfully explain my frustrations and you give me the world.
Thank you for your company.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Let me bare myself
Let me bare myself to you so that you can see who I am.
Let me embrace the shallow part of you that slowly creeps away.
Hold me tonight and just be there for me in sight.
Empty the glass which holds my tears.
Listen to my thoughts as we wave goodbye to today.
Paint my heart with your insecure thoughts.
And I'll watch you grow a little more sincere.
Show me to you vacant heart and I will fill it whole.
Let your pain be a fading memory.
We can watch it float by together while we sip our cups dry.
Hold me today so that I know where I stand in you.
Don't hold back because of unrealistic judgments.
Let me embrace the shallow part of you that slowly creeps away.
Hold me tonight and just be there for me in sight.
Empty the glass which holds my tears.
Listen to my thoughts as we wave goodbye to today.
Paint my heart with your insecure thoughts.
And I'll watch you grow a little more sincere.
Show me to you vacant heart and I will fill it whole.
Let your pain be a fading memory.
We can watch it float by together while we sip our cups dry.
Hold me today so that I know where I stand in you.
Don't hold back because of unrealistic judgments.
Another good one
“A Prayer” by Max Ehrmann
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despairovercome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted mein the desolation of other times. May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking overthe silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quietriver, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early Godto have courage amid the tempests of the changing years. Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguardedmoments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions besuch as shall keep me friendly with myself. Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of thestars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in mypath. Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep everburning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope. And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not withinsight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful forlife, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; andmay the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despairovercome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted mein the desolation of other times. May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking overthe silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quietriver, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early Godto have courage amid the tempests of the changing years. Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguardedmoments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions besuch as shall keep me friendly with myself. Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of thestars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in mypath. Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep everburning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope. And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not withinsight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful forlife, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; andmay the evening's twilight find me gentle still.
Monday, April 27, 2009
London beneath My Heart
Centering the energy that infused me beneath the grasp of your heart. Like a Phantom I escape with out a scratch. You have caught my eye once before and you thought that I would just disappear. Now that you have realized that I am more important than you wanted me to be; I will wait for your movement.
Beneath your heart I rest silently. There are slight movements across my flesh; I breathe you into me and you collapse beside me with your arms around me. I wonder what you think about. You have shown that memory I have of you. You have been kind and there, frequent and cruel. I shutter at the loss of this mourning.
Kiss me again before I must leave.
Beneath your heart I rest silently. There are slight movements across my flesh; I breathe you into me and you collapse beside me with your arms around me. I wonder what you think about. You have shown that memory I have of you. You have been kind and there, frequent and cruel. I shutter at the loss of this mourning.
Kiss me again before I must leave.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Faulty Me
The wake fullness that I dread is sewing it's way through my tangled soul. Spreading like the virus that has been deemed complicating lust. The complicating words that spill out of your mouth that may concern so many have me in love with my beautiful wonderful self. Understanding that what I entrust to myself is worth the frustrations I live with today. That day that you pierced me with your unforgiving tone I had a realization that I have gone many more days later into the reality of this existence than you. You complicate yourself with pointless rhythmic conversation like you need it to be alive. Maybe that is your fire...But you have failed to come clean all the way. No matter how many times you wipe away your day it is always going to be there at the back of your mind.
Desiderata -- My ultimate fave
The poem that you are about to read is what I consider to be Holy to me...I personally don't believe in one specific thing to believe in, worship, however.....If I could sum it up I'd have to agree with this guy......
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Good to know
Pale on the outside...crescent shaped by the gravity that pulls at me.
Following the path that doesn't fit...or does it.
Trying to comply with the rules of intuition....but seeming to fail miserably at it by choice.
Bad ideas never cease to amaze me. Crumbling at your mouth. Gripping the tide to conform the rhythm between us. You have failed me once more. What do you have to say to me this time? Some kind of nice bullshit to falsely ease the temples of my head. You think that you bathe in the light of reason...Sorry to be the next to tell you something that you've already heard before....suck it up because in the end you are the fool to me.
This is what I will prove to you by the end of all this.
Following the path that doesn't fit...or does it.
Trying to comply with the rules of intuition....but seeming to fail miserably at it by choice.
Bad ideas never cease to amaze me. Crumbling at your mouth. Gripping the tide to conform the rhythm between us. You have failed me once more. What do you have to say to me this time? Some kind of nice bullshit to falsely ease the temples of my head. You think that you bathe in the light of reason...Sorry to be the next to tell you something that you've already heard before....suck it up because in the end you are the fool to me.
This is what I will prove to you by the end of all this.
Slipping....
No sympathy for those who choose not to grow....I had to state the fact that I think that you're a pussy for stunting your self righteous experience. Be that baby you can't stand. I'll watch from above in my self righteous space.
Now I must ask myself.....How do I think that I am a better person? Well....I can't answer that without EGO. At this moment I don't want to be nice. I want to allow them to see how I can be strong with out even an ounce of doubt.
Today I win and you lose.
Now I must ask myself.....How do I think that I am a better person? Well....I can't answer that without EGO. At this moment I don't want to be nice. I want to allow them to see how I can be strong with out even an ounce of doubt.
Today I win and you lose.
Finding Peace today
Frustrations of another that bring to mind a side of compassion for a moment. Careless I stand with a fight in me. I will not allow you to control the anger slipping from me. I sit and hide beneath the candle lit doorway. You plead to make it right but I know your stupid game. Don't think for one second that I don't get it. Like a silk screen you can not hide the real lingering desire for hope. Fuck you and your fucking fucked up ideals.....fuck you for standing in my way...fuck you for denying the truth....fuck you for lying.....fuck you for trying to make me beg for more!
I sit and smile now.....Peacful and thankful.
I sit and smile now.....Peacful and thankful.
I am there...
Corrosion helping the decay of this moment. Dirty to the point of understating. The ritual of manifestation. Blending the insanity gap by throwing out the ring. Sucking the life out of this thought. Befriending the dull moments of joy. Caressing the breath of another. Sucking in the dry air. Gasping for more water so that I might be quenched again.
I'm feeling refreshed again. I am there.
I'm feeling refreshed again. I am there.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Delivering the patience
Wed. Jan. 28, 2009
Walking down this hallway....running my hands against the walls. Waiting for the answer that should just be so simple. I suppose if I think about it...it's not that simple - except if it were not what I want to know.
Patience is what I am working towards. Patience is what I am seeking out. Patience is my new knowledge. Patience is what I must adore. Appreciate the silence in patience. Understand patience. Trust patience.
Part of me just wants to burst outwards towards the Sun - The Universe. I scream in silence - nobody can hear what I am screaming about. Like trapping myself in a glass house - sealed temporarily. Being watched like a mime. Everyone trying to figure out what it is that I am trying to portray.
Loaded like a gun - Ready to shoot off - Anything & everything. I have so much to give - I am ready to give everything.
Walking down this hallway....running my hands against the walls. Waiting for the answer that should just be so simple. I suppose if I think about it...it's not that simple - except if it were not what I want to know.
Patience is what I am working towards. Patience is what I am seeking out. Patience is my new knowledge. Patience is what I must adore. Appreciate the silence in patience. Understand patience. Trust patience.
Part of me just wants to burst outwards towards the Sun - The Universe. I scream in silence - nobody can hear what I am screaming about. Like trapping myself in a glass house - sealed temporarily. Being watched like a mime. Everyone trying to figure out what it is that I am trying to portray.
Loaded like a gun - Ready to shoot off - Anything & everything. I have so much to give - I am ready to give everything.
Unjustified beings
The fundamentals of being rotten to the core. The sweat beading off the brow. The familiar sound of the heart beating inside the other person. Defending myself just enough to make myself clear. Brushing away a faint glimmer of satisfaction. Being portrayed to such a degree that she has become quiet inside. This was just another beginning to an end for them both. He new he deserved the behavior that had been thrown at him. He accepted the failure to become better to her. He made his way back into her necessary womb.
That was just one of the nights in purgatory.
That was just one of the nights in purgatory.
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